FRIENDSHIP

A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy
from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has
their phone numbers in their address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes
early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after they have gone to bed. A real
friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems. A real friend
seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could
blackmail you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your
refrigerator and helps themselves.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you HAVE an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend
expects to always be there for you!

RISK

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvement
To expose your feelings is to risk exposing your true self
To place your ideal, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To live is to risk dying
To hope is to risk despair
To try is to risk failure

Yet risks must be taken
Because the greatest hazard in life is risking NOTHING

The person who risks nothing
Does nothing
Has nothing
Is nothing

Self-realisation is harder than
Self Sacrifice

LIFE

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it. Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it. Life is life, fight for it.

The best party of the year

I don't usually write up about Thursdays at the F cos they are a very regular occurence.
However, this last Thursday was a pretty special night and sharing is only fair.
It happened to be the 3 Musketeers' 1 year anniversary party - that would now be Warren, Michelle and I.
The party was planned out of the blue and ended up being one of the best nights i had so far this past year working for FTV.
I booked us the VIP Area, Michelle organized the complimentary booz and Warren...well he just followed along.
My excellent organizational skill ensure that the 3 of us got complimentary rooms at the Michelangelo Towers Hotel and so the night begun....
Dinner started off at Pappas on the Square.... awesome wine, thank you Warren.
Confessions of the mind happened and we were all geared up to enter FTV in style.
Emma ensured that we consumed at least 4 suitcases in 30 minutes and then the rest to follow.
I need to say especially thanks to all the new friends, old friends, supporters and brand partners that supported us on the night.
A special thanks to Pulsate for dressing me all so stylish!

And to FTV..... to many more years to come!
We salute you!

Pulsate - My clothing sponsor

PULSATE is the next level in fashion.
A clothing phenomenon at the heart of an emerging lifestyle, PULSATE is a chain of fashion emporia selling the most funky and sexy male and female apparel.
PULSATE’S product is sophisticated and complements the Pulsate aspirational lifestyle which is a non judgmental society fueled by fun and excitement.
Find PULSATE in Sandton City, Cavendish Connect and Menlyn.

Some of my favorite outfist from the movie Sex 'n the City

Beware of the rip off's

As Thulani Hadebe Quoted on this Facebook profile, these words are true:

It has occured to me that ther is this huge Fake epidemic going around. And it's very contagious - careful you don't catch it. What has this world come to were we cannot be ourselves, and not be content with it? Are our own personalities, not sufficient enough for the next person to accept us for whom we are? I think it is plain and simple: being two-faced - which we all are guilty of. It is not wrong if: Bob meets Jane who likes Sally and is friendly towards Jane to get into Sally's panties. Fair enough, it is a bit shady but hey, give Bob a break. Other times being fickle is a security device to fend off those who might be a potential threat to what you hold dear, which also isn't wrong. What I can't stand is, blatant Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan friendships. Those who feed off their friends, only to back stab them in the end."Et Tu Brutus?" But mind you, don't take these "friends" lightly, because these sharks are clever and vindictive and will strive at nothing to see your emotional Britney Spears Breakdown. The Academy Awards Committee would have difficulty finding the Best Actor & Best Actress Award for a Role in the Fake-ness, with some people I know! But there is always a time when you do see friends and "friends" for who they are, good and bad. All I'm saying be careful, with those you swim with.

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." - Oprah Winfrey

1 year FTV Anniversary Party

I write these words....

I write these italicized words from the future, after it all went down, after all the events and all my weaknesses played out, plus my one strength, and after the writing of all of it.

I add these words just before this year come to an end and if I’ll be unable to say anything more to you; these are the last words I’ll write.

Someone once called writing “the spooky art” and that is very apt, for many reasons, but for me it has to do with you, the personal you. You. You are a very spooky entity to me.

You are spooky because you mean everything to me, yet I know nothing about you except that you are right now reading these words.

Do you understand the bond I feel with you, the depth of it? I am giving you a lot but you are no less returning that: I speak of your time and of your attention, the two most valuable things you have to give. Thank you for that.
You must understand something: I don’t fear that you think me a fool, nor do I fear that you don’t like me.

I only fear that you won’t care. Don’t care What Happens Next. Don’t care what I’ve written on the pages you have not yet read.

To put it another way: I have chronic tinnitus, ringing in the ear. Sometimes the ringing is so loud – like a siren going by – that I can’t believe everyone can’t hear it. I fear that this email is like that.

That’s my fear right now as I write these last words to you this year….

Vanity Fair July 2008

GOSSIPING

I read this interesting story about Gossip the other day:

A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor.

Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended. Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.

"Go to the marketplace," he said, "and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road." Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told.

The next day the wise man said, "Now go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me."

The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had blown the feathers all away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three in her hand. "You see," said the old sage, "it's easy to drop them, but it's impossible to get them back. So it is with gossip. It doesn't take much to spread a rumor, but once you do, you can never completely undo the wrong."

So what is gossip and why are we so willing to participate in it?

It is a sad truth that people cannot love you for just you, that they are easily persuaded to believe anything, & enjoy participating in the story line of a good bit of gossip.

I think it is a matter of self love actually.

If you don't love yourself, how is it possible to love another human being for who they are?

So anything that people do affects you and threatens you.

There is a saying: "People talk about you and bring you down because they cannot be at the level you are, so they need to bring you down to their level"

I sit here saddened as I think of times when I have been shamed before the ones I love & those who are suppose to know my heart.

Yes, I have cried in secret & died inside to a level of joy & trust I once felt.

If I could change one thing in this world, it would be this...

It is true that some things are better left unsaid.

That you really do need to walk a mile in another mans shoes & that if you haven't got anything nice to say...don't say anything at all.

Soulmate

There's no such thing as the perfect soulmate.
If you meet someone and you think they perfect, you better run as fast as you can in the other direction cause your soul mate is the person that pushes all your buttons, pisses you off on a regular basis and makes you face your shit.
It's not easy having a good marriage, but you don't want easy.
Easy doesn't make you grow.
Easy doesn't make you think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEzbkGj7EaQ&feature=related

Lyrics to one of my favorite songs....

I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May gods love be with you
Always
May gods love be with you

I know I would apologize if I could see your eyes
cause when you showed me myself I became someone else
But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
I picture you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You cant keep awake

May gods love be with you
Always
May gods love be with you

cause if I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
If I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
You

I dont know anymore
What its for
Im not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe youre not even sure what its for
Any more than me

May gods love be with you
Always
May gods love be with you

THE ULTIMATE GIRLS NIGHT OUT

If you are looking for the Ultimate Girls Night Out - dont look further than Fashion TV Sandton's Ladies Dinners every first Wednesday of the month!

These evenings are a huge success – especially since we cater for a more up-market, sophisticated crowd and we don’t want to associate ourselves with sleaze and sex.

The mechanics of this evening works as follows:

Ladies join for dinner from 7-10pm

They have a Set Ladies Dinner Menu available to all ladies that would like to book for dinner.

This menu will be R150pp for a 3 course meal which will include a complimentary drink upon arrival as well as a fabulous goody bag (we all know how much women love goody bags!)

Gareth Cliff from 5FM is the “guest of honor” on the evening.

The evening is very relaxed and gives women in and around the Sandton area to have dinner with friends in a safe and secure, up-market environment.

Gentlemen will not excluded from the venue and will be allowed to have drinks on the outside decking but they are not allowed to be inside the venue.

After 10pm, the doors will be opened to the dinner area and all patrons will be free to mingle with one another and party the night away.

Ensure you dont miss the next dinner - 2 July 2008!~

Mozart and the Whale... what a sweet movie about real love!

A dramatic-comedy, inspired by the lives of two people with Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism, whose emotional dysfunctions threaten to sabotage their budding romance. Donald is a good-natured but hapless taxi driver with a love of birds and a superhuman knack for numbers. Like many people with AS, he likes patterns and routines. But when the beautiful but complicated Isabel joins the autism support group he leads, his life - and his heart - are turned upside down.

SOME MEMORABLE QUOTES:


Donald Morton: At my interview with IBM after I graduated college, they asked me what my plans were, and I said, "Probably go to McDonalds for a 12-piece McNugget and two cheeseburgers, and then do my laundry."
Wallace: Did they laugh, at least?
Donald Morton: They smiled and said they'd call me. They didn't.



Isabelle Sorenson: I hated you for not calling. Because you were always gonna be there, and when you weren't, it was as if you didn't love me anymore.
Donald Morton: So go home, I'll call ya.

THE INVITATION

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

My visit to heaven....

I was spoiled with a stunning 1 hour "heavenly experience" this afternoon by visiting Renaissance Spa......

Cascading waterfalls, elaborate chandeliers, elegant surroundings and a breathtaking ambiance engulfs your senses as you enter Renaissance Day Spa at the Michelangelo Towers.

As you meander through the tastefully themed areas, you are greeted with an air of sophistication as your senses are luxuriated by a multitude of sensations.

I escaped to their asylum of our Spa facilities; including sensation showers, steam rooms, saunas and their heated oxygenated spa bath.

I got spoiled with a Reflexology Massage at first: A relaxing pressure point foot massage, that focuses on balancing the body to re-establish energy flows, relieve stress and restore harmony. Trust me it worked!

Then the Back, Shoulder and Neck Massage followed: The fundamental elements of this massage focus purely on the back and shoulder areas to relieve tension of these commonly over stressed muscles.

This was truly one of the best Spa treatments i received by far and i can highly recommend it!

Slow Motion

I have no words left inside me and my head is drowning in a gallon of pulsating, boiling liquid of thick confusion.

My insides ache each second of every moment that is my life.

My eyes are heavy.

I rub them in comfort until my lashes drown my blurred vision.

My soul weeps.

Why do my feet feel so heavy?

I step in slow motion and I journey towards yesterday instead of tomorrow.

I am missing a piece of my mind.

I am missing a happiness.

I am missing warmth, like when you reach out at night, your skin kissing the cool cotton as your hand glides, until you are met with the breathing warmth of flesh – alive – there.

I am missing you.

Conjugated awareness lies to me.

It whispers untruths that I am surviving.

I pretend that I believe.

I know that my journey is long.

I am without substance.

I am alone.

I slowly realize I’m only a half of something greater than I.

I gave as a gift to you – unwillingly – a complete part of me.

Yet, without knowledge thereof.

I have felt its absence now.

I am sick with the emptiness it leaves behind.

Mostly, I am sad.

Everything is tasteless and black and white is my manipulated vision.

Yet, I know this is my journey and I walk forward into the darkness of my destiny.

But you must know that I walk wit the knowledge that I needn’t be afraid nor need I turn to look over my shoulder at who accompanies and protects me.

I feel you here, right behind me.

Your breath is warm and your color purple, bright, bold and ever present.

It’s your spirit that follows me.

It haunts me sweetly and I know it will never leave me, not till the day we pass the horizon of life and touch hands before the great one.

Till the day I am consumed by a greatness greater than what I though I knew when I knew you.

Do you love your job?

You spend at least 8 hours a day at your job and these days, probably more. Do you still enjoy it? Do you look forward to going in to work every day? If you don't, you should consider making a change.

Being passionate about your job is more than the old adage "do what you love". It's looking forward to going to work. It's time flying by when you're there. It's working past quiting time, not because you're swamped with work, but because you were so intent you didn't notice the time.

When you are passionate about what you do for a living you enjoy it more. You also do it better.

YOU ARE THE HERO OF YOUR OWN STORY

Try and imagine the following situation:
You have an eternity on earth to strive for your dreams.
Imagine what you would be able to achieve!
On the other hand, however, you might not really achieve much – if you knew that you had all the time in the world, you would not be as motivated and enthusiastic to materialize your dreams.
Imagine your life is like a story book.
Your story must still be completed and you can decide what will be written!
Everything you do and every decision you make will come to life in the words written in your book of life.

Life is a journey, not a destination.
There are so many wonderful things to do, to experience and to become!

WHO ARE YOU?

We are none of us alone
even as we exhale it is inhaled by others
the light that shines upon me
shines upon my neighbor as well
in this way everything is connected
everything is connected to everything else
In this way I am connected to my friend
even as I am connected to my enemy
In this way there is no difference between me and my friend
In this way there is no difference between me and my enemy
We are none of us alone"

Jenna Clifford on the Square's 1st Birthday Party

Thanks to Zebra Square and Jenna Clifford for an amazing night.
It was truly one of the best events i attended by far

10 cardinal sins of fashion

There’s an exception to every rule. If you have a mental illness, were late for work, or just don’t give a shit–you can exclude yourself.

1. Socks with sandals. One of the things I’m trying to get my mother to stop doing. Believe it or not, I did this as a child with Tevas, but Birkenstocks would be even worse. Just don’t do it. If you must wear socks, wear sneakers, please! Sock-tans aren’t cute!

2. Visible undergarments of any kind. There are too many options available to have your stuff showing through in any major way. White shirt equals a nude bra, not a white one. And don’t get me wrong, a little peek-a-boo action can be sexy, but I mean little. A bra strap, a sliver of thong (both which should match the rest of your outfit). However, no one should be seeing the cups of your bra, or a “whale tail;” if they do, you look like a skank. VPL (Visible Panty Line) is also in this category, especially when bulging is involved. It’s just not attractive.

3. Crocs. Those awful, foam-rubber, brightly colored, ventilated clogs that everyone is wearing. Including small children. I might love you, but I don’t love your Crocs. Maybe for garden shoes, but I see people in these everywhere. They appall me. Just wear flip-flops! They are so ugly!

4. Fake designer bags. Call them knockoffs, call them imitations, replicas–they’re just fake. And more than likely, you look like a cheap ass poser. (Sorry.) If you can’t afford a real Coach bag, why are you carrying a fake one? It totally defeats the purpose. Not being a big label/logo whore myself, I’m more apt to carry a bag that’s just cute and matches my outfit. Remember the Louis Vuitton Murakami craze 3 years ago? They’re so passe now but every so often you’ll see some poor woman still carrying hers. Either she spent her savings on it or she just hasn’t a clue. Logo bags aren’t that original and fake logo bags are even worse.

5. Horrifying, inexcusable clashing. At least try not to do black and dark brown, or black and navy. Those inexcusable skinny-striped bags that go with nothing. Multiple florals, stripes, dots–you get it. Your mother should have taught you. Don’t be lazy, switch your purse. Find shoes that match. It’s not that difficult.

6. Pajamas in public. I’m not talking cute, Victoria’s Secret PINK sweats. I’m talking Tweety Bird PJs from Wal-Mart eight years ago and you’re out buying shit. Please put some sweats on, at least. Preferably nice-looking ones, but come on. I don’t care how lazy you are, when did people decide it was okay to just walk around looking dumpy like they just got out of bed? If you’re that cathartic, you probably shouldn’t be leaving the house anyway.

7. Holiday sweaters. Enough said.

8. Clothes that don’t fit or flatter. Find your size. There is nothing worse than ill-fitting clothing. When in doubt, cover yourself. It doesn’t mean wear a tent, either. Invest in some good shapewear and wear clothes in your size, and it will do a body a world of good. And of course, black is always slimming.

9. Mom jeans: High-waisted, pleated, tapered leg and baggy thighs, maybe even an elasticized waist…there has never been, nor will there ever be, anything chic or cute about these fashion horrors.

10. Popped collars. Just the thought of someone trying so hard to be “preppy” disturbs me. Who cares? Polo shirts are well and good (preferably Lacoste, Abercrombie & Fitch, or Ralph Lauren) but popping the collar is unnecessary and looks flat-out ridiculous, no matter who you are. The person I was completely in love with once came to my house with his collar popped, and I wanted to shut the door in his face. I have a serious problem with this. It was never cool, and if you’re still doing it, you’re even less cool.

Our Golden Girl

After a series of gritty roles, Hollywood’s sexy blond unleashes her comedic chops and inner babe in a new summer blockbuster.

HOT COUPLE

You have to admit, Victoria and David Beckham are the hottest couple around.

Our personal love affair with a fictional icon

Her name has become synonymous with style and the chic, single-girl lifestyle. She represents the new woman’s funny, sharp, likable everygirl. She’s Carrie Bradshaw, possibly one of the most influential fictional characters to ever influence a generation. Sex and the City played a huge role in revolutionizing the way America views single women; presenting the idea that we do not have to be programmed primarily to achieve the cookie-cutter life targets we’ve been told we should reach for so long (marriage, house, baby, etc). Instead, the bachelorette cherishes single life, independence and freedom. The major storylines in the show, however, do center on not whether or not the characters do in fact marry, have children, or even serious relationships, but how they do it–without losing their sense of self. Being single is not the key, a sense of self is, and Carrie Bradshaw leads the way.

Along with many other women around the world, I have always identified with Carrie. She’s all about opening your heart and your mind at the same time. She’s witty, she’s sharp, she’s sexy–but all in a very accessible, believable way. Mine and Carrie’s “storylines” have coincided as I have watched and re-watched the show and begun to experience my single life as a young woman. While I’m not near my thirties yet, I still feel the inevitable pull from older influences–and society in general–to “settle down,” whatever that means. For Carrie and I, marriage and “happily ever after” is not the be-all, end-all in life. And just like Carrie, I’m a career-focused girl but not necessarily as schooled or as driven as the other three women on the show.

I feel akin to Carrie in many ways. She smokes and drinks and has had a fair helping of casual dating and one-night-stands, but at the end of the day, she’s an old-fashioned girl. She believes in the One, she believes in romance, and most of all, she believes in love. She’s sentimental and reflective. All women are complex, but I relate to Carrie a lot in this way too–her needs and feelings are often conflicted and result in charged and sometimes difficult relationships with men. She’s had to know when to walk away, and it’s bittersweet; especially in her second breakup with Aidan, whom she truly loved and respected, but it just didn’t work, and she couldn’t be what he wanted her to be. It’s never easy to strike a balance. Not just anyone will do. Mischiko Kakutani accused Carrie of “disposing” of men when she reviewed her book in Season Five; I’ve had many of my older friends and colleagues say the same thing to me. But I digress: When searching for a soulmate, one can never be too picky. And so continues the endless search. Carrie was looking for love, real love. “Ridiculous, consuming, can’t live without each other love.” And she found it, as we all hoped and predicted–in Mr. Big.

It’s easy to make a sweeping judgment of the carefree single girl–Carrie and myself included–and throw out terms like “promiscuous” and the like. Aside from the ludicrous societal double-standard, I like to believe that I’ve maintained a moral compass. You can’t look back, you can only learn. Carrie is flawed. I am flawed. We trip over things, we can’t (don’t?) cook, have messy apartments and high credit card bills due to an unshakable shopping addiction. But she’s real–still fictional–but that’s what makes the show so amazing. The writers really, really made Carrie real and relatable to all of us. We can look at her and say: “I’m her.”